Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Picking Baby Up Too Much

"Yes, you can harm a baby by picking him or her up too much...Research has clearly demonstrated that immediate-gratification training negatively impacts a child's ability to learn, affecting the skills of sitting, focusing, and concentrating."  On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo, M.A. and Robert Bucknam, M.D.

My sister did not follow Baby Wise with her 4 year old daughter yet I believe she is the smartest 4 year old that I have seen. She not only knows how to spell and write her name, rewrite sentences by looking at them but she communicates very effectively. The phrases she says makes you wonder where on earth did it come from. The grammatical structure of the sentences are 'adult-like'. She can hear a story or see something one time and yet she'll remember that months down the road and talk about it like it was yesterday. I don't believe that picking your child up all the time lessens their focus or concentration on items later on in life.

But what do you say?


  1. Both those Drs are men. What do men really know about baby care anyway. What do you think their wives actually did when they were out doing their research. They were probably snuggling their babies. I think it is impossible to spoil an infant, so snuggle away! I think holding your child teaches them that their world is a safe secure place in which to learn and explore. They let you know when they are ready to get down on the floor and play. My son is a snuggle bug, but he still loves floor time and his jumparoo. And he is getting really good at sitting (he is 6.5 months) Your baby is only tiny for a very short time, so snuggle while you can! :)

  2. I picked up my girls all the time when they were little and they turned out to be confident, self-assured and independent. They are only tiny for such a short time, so enjoy it while you can!


  3. That idea is just foolish! Picking up and holding your baby is a form of communication. Children learn to be compassionate, and interact with positive emotion from being held and comforted. There can never be enough positive touch. My sisters (and husbands) and I all hold our children a lot, and we all breastfed for a year +, with only positive impact, so I am in total disagreement with "Baby Wise".

  4. I agree with all of these comments. I do not think that making the infant feel safe and picking them up immediately when crying affects them negatively, I do think that it can affects the person doing all of the cuddling when you are in a situation where the child only has one person shouldering that responsibility. They can become very attached to that one person which can become a big problem when he/she needs a break. They don't want anyone else. I was in that situation with my son. We had no family around, and my husband worked a lot. When he would get home and try to give me a break, my son would cry for me. My husband started off wanting me to hold him as soon as he cried, but then as time went on, he told me that we needed some separation and wanted me to place him in child care because my son was so attached to me. It was also difficult to leave him with care givers until he was almost 1 ½. I would leave him and he would cry the whole time. For hours he would cry with them. Needless to say I didn’t get much break time.